"Forgive and forget"
An anthem that I have often sung to not only myself, but to others around me. It is a proverb of sorts that I have tried to model my life after. Really though? It's just the bible condensed into a succinct three-word phrase.
An anthem that I have often sung to not only myself, but to others around me. It is a proverb of sorts that I have tried to model my life after. Really though? It's just the bible condensed into a succinct three-word phrase.
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18
Perhaps
it's my personality, but in the past, I just haven't been prone to
bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. Mostly it's for selfish reasons though. I'm just too lazy to constantly stay angry or bitter at someone.
Also, I generally like the people I'm angry with and miss them when
we're not friends. Thus, I would rather be friends than be angry. (And I prefer peace over drama.)
And honestly? Most things that people do to annoy me, frustrate me, and even offend me really aren't worth being angry, offended or bitter over.
And honestly? Most things that people do to annoy me, frustrate me, and even offend me really aren't worth being angry, offended or bitter over.
Who really cares if someone gossips about me? That just means I'm obviously important and interesting enough for them to want to talk about.
Does it really matter if my friend skipped meeting me for lunch and I'm left sitting alone? Is it worth me getting angry if a friend breaks my phone and doesn't pay for it? Should I really live in bitterness because I'm jealous of my friend who may have better things or a "better" life than me?
Should I be spiteful at someone because I feel insecure and even if they do everything better than me, is it worth it for me to be angry?
Do I really want to sever a friendship, create division, and end the memories I have with people because of some mistakes they've made? Because of their faults? Or maybe even because of my selfish feelings?
Candidly, most things I get frustrated, angry, or annoyed at are just stupid. And frankly? That is also true for you too.
But I know that there are some things that legitimately do make us angry, bitter and even lead to unforgiveness. Things like broken trust.
Trust broken is very hard on the heart - especially when the one who broke it either has no desire to repair it or does not care. Your heart is overwhelmed by the hurt and thousands of questions race through your mind unanswered.
Trust broken can literally take the proverbial "wind out of you" leaving you is disbelief. You try to process the pain and survey the emotional damage, but you find yourself drowning in your emotions and fighting to just gasp a bit of air to survive. You're overwhelmed and anger rushes in like a surge and your thoughts are consumed with disgust, fury, even hate towards the one who broke your trust.
Do I really want to sever a friendship, create division, and end the memories I have with people because of some mistakes they've made? Because of their faults? Or maybe even because of my selfish feelings?
Candidly, most things I get frustrated, angry, or annoyed at are just stupid. And frankly? That is also true for you too.
But I know that there are some things that legitimately do make us angry, bitter and even lead to unforgiveness. Things like broken trust.
Trust broken is very hard on the heart - especially when the one who broke it either has no desire to repair it or does not care. Your heart is overwhelmed by the hurt and thousands of questions race through your mind unanswered.
Trust broken can literally take the proverbial "wind out of you" leaving you is disbelief. You try to process the pain and survey the emotional damage, but you find yourself drowning in your emotions and fighting to just gasp a bit of air to survive. You're overwhelmed and anger rushes in like a surge and your thoughts are consumed with disgust, fury, even hate towards the one who broke your trust.
And to be completely honest this is where my heart is today. This season has been marked by a new phenomena in my life. For the first time since I can remember, I have not been able to just "forgive and forget".
When one is wounded deeply, reciting "forgive and forget" religiously like the Rosary will neither bring forgiveness nor heal your heart. I can't heal my heart. Only Jesus can.
But how do you forgive then? How do you move on?
I pray that the Lord keeps my heart tender first and foremost towards Him. For without a tender heart before the Lord, I am not a willing vessel to be changed, molded and shaped by Him. I am not able to let the Lord bring forth forgiveness and deposit love if I am not submitted to Him.
I pray, I worship, I journal, I talk, I seek counsel. I need Jesus. For without Him I will try and deal with this on my own. And to do so would be taking the first steps down a road that will lead me to bitterness and unforgiveness. Only Christ can restore my heart.
Secondly, I pray that He would keep my heart tender towards those who have hurt me. True forgiveness is not just saying "I forgive you" and moving on like nothing happened. Forgiveness is a heart change from anger, frustration, and hurt to a heart of love and kindness.
"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." 1 John 4:20
So I pray for a tender heart that out of it forgiveness may flow.
"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher
"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr
"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher
"Forgiveness is the final form of love." - Reinhold Niebuhr
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