Thursday night I went out to dinner with my dad. We sat down to "catch up" on life. And most times when we get together it is just fun and relaxing. But Thursday night was more seriously. It was heavier as I began to tell my dad of the things that overwhelmed my soul.
Sometimes when I talk about my heart to my dad, I feel like such a little kid again. I'm not eight years old anymore. I'm almost twenty-six. And so I like to be able to meet with him having things figured out and my life functional. Who honestly likes to meet with their dad (or anyone) being completely overwhelmed and not having any clue about anything?
I knew we were going to talk about areas of my life where I am completely overwhelmed and even angry about. I knew I would have to be honest with the details and I couldn't just pretend like everything was "ok". In a way, I didn't want to go because of this. I wanted to just skip ahead to when my heart was not hurting, to when I had answers, to when I knew what I was doing with my future, and then meet with him.
He listened as I talked of my life and asked a few pointed questions here and there, but mostly listened. And when I was done, it was his turn to talk. And instead of giving me cliche answers like "God is in control" or "Every season has its purpose", he gave me Jesus.
He talked about his faith in Christ and struggles from his own life. He talked about serving Him even in the midst of a heart overwhelmed and not having answers or having the future I thought I would have. He talked about hearing from the Lord and encouraged me that just because I stepped out in faith, just because I prayed, just because I sought what I felt was from the Lord, and it didn't come to pass doesn't mean I didn't hear from God. Humanity has free will. And this plays into the fulfillment of things to pass.
And perhaps for some, their fathers talking about serving Jesus and being faithful, talking about faith in the midst of a heart overwhelmed, that might not mean much. But for me? My dad has 27+ years of faithfulness and consistent love for the Lord to back it up. And trust me when I say, the areas in his life he has remained faithful amazes me. I look and often think "I couldn't do that".
[NOTE: I have never and will probably never meet a man more faithful than my dad.]
It was almost annoying because I realized just how short a time my heart has been overwhelmed and how such little time has passed where I have struggled to be faithful, and here was my dad sitting across from me encouraging me from a place of faithfulness 27 years further down the road. And I realized, without Jesus, there is no way I will be sitting across from anyone 27 years from now talking about faithfulness.
I left that night, my heart still hurting and still overwhelmed. But I was freshly encouraged to pursue the Lord even amidst this season of frustration and confusion. And my dad has gone on before me, blazing a trail of faithfulness and passion for the Lord. All I have to do is follow.
Sometimes when I talk about my heart to my dad, I feel like such a little kid again. I'm not eight years old anymore. I'm almost twenty-six. And so I like to be able to meet with him having things figured out and my life functional. Who honestly likes to meet with their dad (or anyone) being completely overwhelmed and not having any clue about anything?
I knew we were going to talk about areas of my life where I am completely overwhelmed and even angry about. I knew I would have to be honest with the details and I couldn't just pretend like everything was "ok". In a way, I didn't want to go because of this. I wanted to just skip ahead to when my heart was not hurting, to when I had answers, to when I knew what I was doing with my future, and then meet with him.
He listened as I talked of my life and asked a few pointed questions here and there, but mostly listened. And when I was done, it was his turn to talk. And instead of giving me cliche answers like "God is in control" or "Every season has its purpose", he gave me Jesus.
He talked about his faith in Christ and struggles from his own life. He talked about serving Him even in the midst of a heart overwhelmed and not having answers or having the future I thought I would have. He talked about hearing from the Lord and encouraged me that just because I stepped out in faith, just because I prayed, just because I sought what I felt was from the Lord, and it didn't come to pass doesn't mean I didn't hear from God. Humanity has free will. And this plays into the fulfillment of things to pass.
And perhaps for some, their fathers talking about serving Jesus and being faithful, talking about faith in the midst of a heart overwhelmed, that might not mean much. But for me? My dad has 27+ years of faithfulness and consistent love for the Lord to back it up. And trust me when I say, the areas in his life he has remained faithful amazes me. I look and often think "I couldn't do that".
[NOTE: I have never and will probably never meet a man more faithful than my dad.]
It was almost annoying because I realized just how short a time my heart has been overwhelmed and how such little time has passed where I have struggled to be faithful, and here was my dad sitting across from me encouraging me from a place of faithfulness 27 years further down the road. And I realized, without Jesus, there is no way I will be sitting across from anyone 27 years from now talking about faithfulness.
I left that night, my heart still hurting and still overwhelmed. But I was freshly encouraged to pursue the Lord even amidst this season of frustration and confusion. And my dad has gone on before me, blazing a trail of faithfulness and passion for the Lord. All I have to do is follow.
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