“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” - Haruki Murakami
I have found myself in a season where the memories of a different time, all of which I once looked upon with fondness, have left where I call home a place of loss and frustration.
I am looking and praying about the possibility of leaving. My soul needs to start afresh in a new place not plagued by memories of dreams built of a future that will never happen. And now, at almost 26 and having never been gone from home longer than 3 months, I find within myself a great restlessness to leave.
Actually, this desire to leave has long been within my heart. But I believe I have finally come upon a season where my soul is no longer able to just endure - even in the midst of the beauty and blessings of the North Country. Restlessness, a weary soul, and too many memories with people who are no longer in my life . . . it stirs inside of me a deep desire to begin anew somewhere I have never been.
I love the North Country. It is home. It will always be home. And I love the people and the church more than anything. And there is nothing I would love more than to leave for a season and then return. So I am praying and seeking for the right opportunity to leave - so that once gone, I can pray for the right opportunity to return.
But regardless of whether it be 10 minutes or 10,000 miles down the road I move, I want to serve Jesus wherever I am. Because at the end of the day, a new place, new friends, a new job, even a new church, that won't bring healing, satisfaction, or fulfillment. Only Jesus can.
And this is something even now, I am learning from my failures of placing fulfillment in other people. One of these days I'll learn. I'm just not sure which one it will be.
I have found myself in a season where the memories of a different time, all of which I once looked upon with fondness, have left where I call home a place of loss and frustration.
I am looking and praying about the possibility of leaving. My soul needs to start afresh in a new place not plagued by memories of dreams built of a future that will never happen. And now, at almost 26 and having never been gone from home longer than 3 months, I find within myself a great restlessness to leave.
Actually, this desire to leave has long been within my heart. But I believe I have finally come upon a season where my soul is no longer able to just endure - even in the midst of the beauty and blessings of the North Country. Restlessness, a weary soul, and too many memories with people who are no longer in my life . . . it stirs inside of me a deep desire to begin anew somewhere I have never been.
I love the North Country. It is home. It will always be home. And I love the people and the church more than anything. And there is nothing I would love more than to leave for a season and then return. So I am praying and seeking for the right opportunity to leave - so that once gone, I can pray for the right opportunity to return.
But regardless of whether it be 10 minutes or 10,000 miles down the road I move, I want to serve Jesus wherever I am. Because at the end of the day, a new place, new friends, a new job, even a new church, that won't bring healing, satisfaction, or fulfillment. Only Jesus can.
And this is something even now, I am learning from my failures of placing fulfillment in other people. One of these days I'll learn. I'm just not sure which one it will be.
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