No child thinks "When I grow up I will probably be a cynic." Rather, a child looks to their future and dreams of the possibilities of what they can/will be when they grow up.
"I want to be a firefighter" says an enthusiastic little boy.
"I want to be doctor" says a precocious little girl.
I was a dreamer. Not only as a child, but as a youth and even through my college years. I dreamt of all kinds of things. From the type of job I'd have, to the music I wanted to compose, to the type of car I'd drive and even to the girl I'd fall in love with.
I loved dreaming. In dream world there are no limits. Anything is possible. And you better believe I dreamed like anything was possible.
There were just too many impossibilities in my life and dreaming allowed for a future that reality didn't.
I of course understood that there was a reality around me and that at some point, I couldn't just live in dream world forever. But for certain dreams, I began making plans and investing my life in a way to make them possible. And some of my dreams seemed as though they could be possible.
But the problem with dreams are that no matter how wonderful they are, at some point you will wake up and the dream will be over.
I've woken up from a lot of dreams in the last two years. Two weeks ago I awoke from another. And I guess cynicism crept in when dream after dream ended and I would wake left with only the vague memories of something wonderful. And now I find my desire to even want to dream fading.
As a recovering cynic, my initial response to dreaming is "Why bother. It doesn't matter. I'll only be left with nothing."
That's not the right response. I'm not quite ready to dive back into dream land, but at least I am able to recognize the wrong response. Giving up is never the right response.
I am thankful that the Lord sees my broken heart, my many failed dreams, and still loves me even though I'm a recovering cynic. And He is still invested in my life and has plans (dreams) for me even if I've stopped dreaming for myself.
So tonight I am going to bring before Him my weary and completely overwhelmed soul so that the peace that transcends my understanding will guard my heart and mind (Philippians 4:6). Both of which are in need of much guarding.
"I want to be a firefighter" says an enthusiastic little boy.
"I want to be doctor" says a precocious little girl.
I was a dreamer. Not only as a child, but as a youth and even through my college years. I dreamt of all kinds of things. From the type of job I'd have, to the music I wanted to compose, to the type of car I'd drive and even to the girl I'd fall in love with.
I loved dreaming. In dream world there are no limits. Anything is possible. And you better believe I dreamed like anything was possible.
There were just too many impossibilities in my life and dreaming allowed for a future that reality didn't.
I of course understood that there was a reality around me and that at some point, I couldn't just live in dream world forever. But for certain dreams, I began making plans and investing my life in a way to make them possible. And some of my dreams seemed as though they could be possible.
But the problem with dreams are that no matter how wonderful they are, at some point you will wake up and the dream will be over.
I've woken up from a lot of dreams in the last two years. Two weeks ago I awoke from another. And I guess cynicism crept in when dream after dream ended and I would wake left with only the vague memories of something wonderful. And now I find my desire to even want to dream fading.
As a recovering cynic, my initial response to dreaming is "Why bother. It doesn't matter. I'll only be left with nothing."
That's not the right response. I'm not quite ready to dive back into dream land, but at least I am able to recognize the wrong response. Giving up is never the right response.
I am thankful that the Lord sees my broken heart, my many failed dreams, and still loves me even though I'm a recovering cynic. And He is still invested in my life and has plans (dreams) for me even if I've stopped dreaming for myself.
So tonight I am going to bring before Him my weary and completely overwhelmed soul so that the peace that transcends my understanding will guard my heart and mind (Philippians 4:6). Both of which are in need of much guarding.
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