Love The Feeling Hurts

A friend recently posted 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 on Facebook and much like Canon in D, this passage of scripture is sure to bring a nauseating feeling for any frequent wedding goer in the middle of a ceremony. 

If you're not familiar with the passage here it is:

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

This is actually an incredible section of scripture. And I have discovered that in my life there exists two types of love. There is "love the feeling" and "love the action". Although both contain the word "love" they couldn't be further juxtaposed.

Love the feeling will not suffer long. Love the feeling may be kind for a season, but will not remain kind. Love the feeling does not bear all things or believe all things. And love the feeling most definitely does not hope or endure all things.

And in today's culture, whether secular or Christian, the word "love" is often used to express a sentiment, a feeling towards another. Whether it be from husband to wife, girl-friend to boy-friend, friend to friend, or grandpa to grand-daughter, it is a word reserved only for the most special people because really when one says "I love you" what they're saying is "My love is a 1 Corinthians 13 love".

Yet all too often the word "love", although at times may resemble a shadow of 1 Corinthians 13, is really just a feeling. And the problem with feelings is that they are subject to change and are not rooted in anything but emotion.

[NOTE: Now for you literalists out there, I understand that accompanied with love are feelings. I know that love is not a robotic response. Just keep reading and get off your literalist soapbox for a second.]

True love couldn't be further from just an emotion though.

"For God so loved the word that gave His only begotten Son..."
- John 3:16

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends."
- John 15:13

True love is an action that demands a result. God couldn't just sit in heaven and spend every day saying "I love humanity." If He truly loved humanity, an action was required. Because true love takes an emotional response and makes it a literal example.

As a Christian, I think I'm more susceptible perhaps than others to almost irreverently throwing around the word "love" at people. For me, when someone tells me that they love me, I don't think of their love as being conditional or momentary. And I most definitely don't think of it as selfish. And I would hope that anyone I say "I love you" to would think the same. Because that is what biblical love is. 

But where offense, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and even cynicism can creep in is from when someone tells you they love you and so in return you trust and love them, invest your life in them, count on them, and then one day they walk away from you or let you down and don't care. 

"How could you?" you might say.

"I don't understand." perhaps you think.

What happened? It was love the feeling and not love the action. It was not a 1 Corinthians 13 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things love. It was merely an emotional response used to convey the magnitude and commitment of a 1 Corinthians 13 love, but was just a shadow of the real thing. 

And this is where so many relationships, friendships, churches, and families have broken apart. And it is also where for many, the road began towards bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, resentment, and cynicism.  

"Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." - Proverbs 18:21

The words "I love you" can bring great life to those around you but when not lived out like 1 Corinthains 13, they can also bring death to your relationships with people. 

"Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." - Proverbs 29:20

May I be someone who is careful to whom I say "I love you" to and to those I have already said it to, ask the Lord to help me to daily live out a 1 Corinthians 13 love.