"Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows." - Ben Stein
I have been blessed with many a relationship over the years. Whether it be with my family or friends, I have had and do have many wonderful relationships. I think for most, we can name at least one if not a dozen or more relationships we have that we value, love, and invest ourselves, our very lives into.
Whether it be children, a coworker, a spouse, a friend, a cousin or romantic interest, we all have people in our lives that we value and take the time to invest in.
I could outline the return (success) that such relationships offer, but instead I would like to take a look into those relationships where perhaps the return is either minimal or nonexistent. Where as little as perhaps a few months have been invested to as great as many decades. Those relationships where you have sown, loved and poured yourself into.
The reality of sin is that people are broken.
This is something I often forget. I get so invested in my relationships with people that I get caught up in an almost Narnian-type world where I suddenly am Lucy, amazed and dazzled by everything and to a fault, ignorantly blinded to the reality that the relationships I invest in are broken by default. No matter how good they may be or seem, at the core, they're broken. They're broken because of sin.
The New Testament is chalk full of writings from Paul to the early Church on relational advice. From the dawn of time people have always struggled in their relationships with one-another. Don't believe me? Just take a look at the divorce rate. Or perhaps spend an evening scrolling through your newsfeed and you'll see that humanity has a hard time relationally.
And if you're like me, caught up in this Narnian world of innocence, then you too become shocked and overwhelmed when a relationship you have invested in, loved, and poured yourself into unravels. It may look different for each, but I am sure you have all experienced a relationship where the return was more shocking than a blessing.
And in that moment of unraveling, it is easy for me to become callused and spiteful. "What a complete waste!" I think.
Perhaps these are words you have said or maybe even words that have been spoken to you.
I definitely tend to look at relationships that unravel and think "I shouldn't have wasted my time. I completely wasted my love and energy. Never again."
Remember when I said the reality of sin is that people are broken?
I'm broken. And this is my brokenness responding.
Why did I love and invest myself in the first place?
Because Jesus first loved me.
I have to remind myself that my investment in relationships, no matter the amount of time, energy, or depth of love I give, it is not so I can solely benefit. I invest in people because Christ first invested in me. I love people because He first loved me. I am faithful to those in my life because the Lord was first faithful to me.
[NOTE: I understand fully that this does not take the sting of pain away when a child, friend or spouse rebel, leave, or reject you. You are still left to deal with the disappointment, hurt, and pain.]
And so, I don't look to the return on the relationships I have to determine how much I should love and how much I should invest.
I have been blessed with many a relationship over the years. Whether it be with my family or friends, I have had and do have many wonderful relationships. I think for most, we can name at least one if not a dozen or more relationships we have that we value, love, and invest ourselves, our very lives into.
Whether it be children, a coworker, a spouse, a friend, a cousin or romantic interest, we all have people in our lives that we value and take the time to invest in.
I could outline the return (success) that such relationships offer, but instead I would like to take a look into those relationships where perhaps the return is either minimal or nonexistent. Where as little as perhaps a few months have been invested to as great as many decades. Those relationships where you have sown, loved and poured yourself into.
The reality of sin is that people are broken.
This is something I often forget. I get so invested in my relationships with people that I get caught up in an almost Narnian-type world where I suddenly am Lucy, amazed and dazzled by everything and to a fault, ignorantly blinded to the reality that the relationships I invest in are broken by default. No matter how good they may be or seem, at the core, they're broken. They're broken because of sin.
The New Testament is chalk full of writings from Paul to the early Church on relational advice. From the dawn of time people have always struggled in their relationships with one-another. Don't believe me? Just take a look at the divorce rate. Or perhaps spend an evening scrolling through your newsfeed and you'll see that humanity has a hard time relationally.
And if you're like me, caught up in this Narnian world of innocence, then you too become shocked and overwhelmed when a relationship you have invested in, loved, and poured yourself into unravels. It may look different for each, but I am sure you have all experienced a relationship where the return was more shocking than a blessing.
And in that moment of unraveling, it is easy for me to become callused and spiteful. "What a complete waste!" I think.
Perhaps these are words you have said or maybe even words that have been spoken to you.
I definitely tend to look at relationships that unravel and think "I shouldn't have wasted my time. I completely wasted my love and energy. Never again."
Remember when I said the reality of sin is that people are broken?
I'm broken. And this is my brokenness responding.
Why did I love and invest myself in the first place?
"We love because He first loved us" John 4:19So why?
Because Jesus first loved me.
"Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame..." Hebrew 12:1-2Jesus didn't invest in me because it benefited Him. He invested in me because He loved me. And He looked ahead, to "the joy that was set before Him" - relationship with mankind both now and forever - and he endured the cross.
I have to remind myself that my investment in relationships, no matter the amount of time, energy, or depth of love I give, it is not so I can solely benefit. I invest in people because Christ first invested in me. I love people because He first loved me. I am faithful to those in my life because the Lord was first faithful to me.
[NOTE: I understand fully that this does not take the sting of pain away when a child, friend or spouse rebel, leave, or reject you. You are still left to deal with the disappointment, hurt, and pain.]
And so, I don't look to the return on the relationships I have to determine how much I should love and how much I should invest.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8Jesus invested everything He had in me while I was still a sinner. The least I can do is invest myself in my relationships with people.
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