Hope Deferred vs. Faith

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12 

In my life I have had hope deferred over, and over, and over again. In some instances, my hope has been deferred for not one, but two, even three years.

[NOTE: For some of you three years may be a drop in the bucket. I recognize that some have had hope deferred for many years. So I'm not claiming "longest hope deferred" title here.]

Proverbs says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. What does sick mean?

For me, I think that means cynicism, frustration, and hopelessness. When there is a dream (hope) of something and it is never realized, your soul becomes weary holding out hope that someday it might happen."Might happen" does not offer much hope. And often, I think in the end, giving up is just easier. Why wait? It's not like anything is going to change anyways.

And for some, they can testify to this day of hope being deferred and nothing changing.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" - Hebrews 11:1

So what is the difference between faith (things hoped for) and hope? If hope deferred makes the heart grow sick, can faith deferred make the heart grow sick too?

In my life there have been instances where I was convinced God was speaking and leading. Areas where I not only had faith, but lived every day believing that He was going to come through and a testimony would arise. But then doors closed. Hearts changed. Things ended. And my faith, the substance of things hoped for? Well let's just say my heart grew sick.

And much like physical sickness, when your body doesn't have time to fully recover before getting sick again, you're just ill for a longer period.

So it is with hope deferred.

The heart can end up living months, even years, sick. And so hopelessness sets in. Little by little, even your desire to have hope is stripped away. Your dreams are gone as well as all desire to dream. The faith that fueled your desire to hope is extinct and all you are left with is yourself and your circumstances. And so you either become bitter, angry, cynical, and unforgiving, or you just  make do in your life of hopelessness. After all, nothing is going to change. This is your life now and you accept it and may even label it "a new season".

And so begins the cyclical cycle of hopelessness.

You say nothing is going to change because you're in a hopeless state of hopelessness that produces only  hopelessness for your hopeless state.

And the curse of hopelessness?

Even though intellectually you may know that God could come through in your hopelessness and make the impossible possible, you're too hopeless to actually believe it or see it - even though you know it. And now faith, the very thing that brings you into your relationship with Jesus, is nullified from your life.

"O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"
- Romans 7:24

Jesus, the Son of God. He is the One who can deliver you from hopelessness.

He is the only way out. He is the only way to have hope again. He is the only way to dream again. He is the only One who can restore your faith. He is the only One who can give you joy.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken." - Psalm 34:18-20

So tonight, even in the midst of hope deferred and my heart being sick, I look to the Lord who is near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed spirit. Because only He will restore to me the joy of my salvation.