April 20, Easter, marked the end of my 90 day commitment to the gym and bible reading that began back in January.
These past 90 days have been good for me - both physically and emotionally. When I first began going to the gym I was a struggling 145 pounds. I am now holding steady at 165 and hope to get to 170 by June.
I am still attending the gym and just yesterday renewed my membership for another year. I am excited to see what type of physical transformation and discipline I will accomplish over the next year as I submit myself to 4 days a week at the gym.
My time in the Word has been good. Although if I were to be completely candid with you, I have been much more faithful with the gym than I have been with reading the bible. It's embarrassing to admit. I wish I could tell you I have faithfully read my bible every day for the past 90 days. That would be nothing short of a blatant lie though. I have to confess, I have probably missed... 30 days. That's pretty bad actually. Especially for only setting a "90 day" commitment.
Being completely candid with you though, there have been many a day where I have been very discouraged with... well... everything. And one thing I desperately need to work on is not "giving up" completely when I am discouraged.
See the thing about me that perhaps no one knows is that I often get discouraged about my life. I look at my finances, my career, my future, my relationships, my failures, my failed expectations, my losses, and I just give up. "What does it even matter?" I say. "Nothing is ever going to change." So I just stop trying.
It's been a horrible habit I have always had. Instead of pressing on, instead of getting a hold of Christ and His vision for me, I just stop. I don't consider myself one to be easily overwhelmed. Yet when I take inventory of my life, without fail, I am always left discouraged and feeling claustrophobic.
Discouragement is not new to me nor is it new to humanity. I wouldn't say discouragement is wrong per se, but how one deals with discouragement may be. I would say my response - giving up - is a wrong way to deal with discouragement.
But what do you do when perceivably everything in your life is discouraging to you?
Stopping your time in the Word is definitely not the answer. Neither is sitting for hours listening to your favorite slow Classical works. And driving till your tank is empty is just a waste of money. And vainly attempting to plan out ways to "fix" all those things that discourage you is futile at best. Not that I have done any of these of course.
And not because I have done it perfectly, but because I recently am trying, I find that worshiping, prayer, turning to God in any way is probably the best response to discouragement. Sometimes for an hour I will sit listening to worship music as I intentionally work to focus my mind on Christ and not on the long list of things that are a constant discouragement to my soul.
I pray. Most of the time it's simple and repetitive. "Lord, You know where my heart is at. I don't know what to say. I need You."
I need to afresh get back into the Word. It's hard, especially when you awake every morning to discouragement. But really? Is money, a new car, a big house, relationships, a career, is that really going to remove discouragement and make me content?
No.
But it would help alleviate some of the discouragement.
Regardless though, I want to learn to be content in Christ and in Christ alone. As Paul said in Philippians 4:12:
These past 90 days have been good for me - both physically and emotionally. When I first began going to the gym I was a struggling 145 pounds. I am now holding steady at 165 and hope to get to 170 by June.
I am still attending the gym and just yesterday renewed my membership for another year. I am excited to see what type of physical transformation and discipline I will accomplish over the next year as I submit myself to 4 days a week at the gym.
My time in the Word has been good. Although if I were to be completely candid with you, I have been much more faithful with the gym than I have been with reading the bible. It's embarrassing to admit. I wish I could tell you I have faithfully read my bible every day for the past 90 days. That would be nothing short of a blatant lie though. I have to confess, I have probably missed... 30 days. That's pretty bad actually. Especially for only setting a "90 day" commitment.
Being completely candid with you though, there have been many a day where I have been very discouraged with... well... everything. And one thing I desperately need to work on is not "giving up" completely when I am discouraged.
See the thing about me that perhaps no one knows is that I often get discouraged about my life. I look at my finances, my career, my future, my relationships, my failures, my failed expectations, my losses, and I just give up. "What does it even matter?" I say. "Nothing is ever going to change." So I just stop trying.
It's been a horrible habit I have always had. Instead of pressing on, instead of getting a hold of Christ and His vision for me, I just stop. I don't consider myself one to be easily overwhelmed. Yet when I take inventory of my life, without fail, I am always left discouraged and feeling claustrophobic.
Discouragement is not new to me nor is it new to humanity. I wouldn't say discouragement is wrong per se, but how one deals with discouragement may be. I would say my response - giving up - is a wrong way to deal with discouragement.
But what do you do when perceivably everything in your life is discouraging to you?
Stopping your time in the Word is definitely not the answer. Neither is sitting for hours listening to your favorite slow Classical works. And driving till your tank is empty is just a waste of money. And vainly attempting to plan out ways to "fix" all those things that discourage you is futile at best. Not that I have done any of these of course.
And not because I have done it perfectly, but because I recently am trying, I find that worshiping, prayer, turning to God in any way is probably the best response to discouragement. Sometimes for an hour I will sit listening to worship music as I intentionally work to focus my mind on Christ and not on the long list of things that are a constant discouragement to my soul.
I pray. Most of the time it's simple and repetitive. "Lord, You know where my heart is at. I don't know what to say. I need You."
I need to afresh get back into the Word. It's hard, especially when you awake every morning to discouragement. But really? Is money, a new car, a big house, relationships, a career, is that really going to remove discouragement and make me content?
No.
But it would help alleviate some of the discouragement.
Regardless though, I want to learn to be content in Christ and in Christ alone. As Paul said in Philippians 4:12:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
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