Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
- Romans 12:9
Nearly a month ago I found myself tripping over this verse. I wanted to skip over the first half and just focus in on the second part - abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. I could do that. I could abhor evil. I could cling to good.
But as much as I tried to push the first half of the verse from my thoughts, it suddenly became a game of "if you think of the game you lose the game". The harder I tried to forget the first half and just move on in my reading, the more that it invaded my thoughts. Needless to say, I was losing "the game".
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Reading those words were uncomfortable, annoying, frustrating actually. Because I knew that my love was not without hypocrisy.
For as much as I love people around me, in my heart I knew (even though I tried to pretend it wasn't so) that there were names, faces, real people whom I did not love.
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Sometimes I think I am doing so well at loving people. Then a name is said, or a picture posted, and like the change from summer to winter, my heart frosts over and I become cold.
And like the wrestling of toddlers over a prized toy, I wrestled with my own heart. Am I really a hypocrite? It just didn't seem possible. And could not loving even just one person be enough to make me a hypocrite?
I knew the answer was yes. But somehow not admitting it gave me a sense of stability. Perhaps if I ignored it long enough maybe it wouldn't be true.
See the reality of Romans 12:9 and John 4:20 is, if I don't love like Christ would love, if there is someone in my life where there is anger, malice, or hatred towards them, I am a walking hypocrite. I am someone who rations out my love to those I "deem worthy" and cast judgement on who and how I will love.
I cannot stand before the Lord today or on the day of judgement in confidence. I cannot raise my hands in worship. I cannot even pray with faith because I have failed the very thing Christ commanded me: to love my neighbor as myself.
But how do you love someone you don't want to love?
So I did what I so very much did not want to do; I prayed blessings on those whom my heart did not love. Everything I could want prayed for myself, I prayed for them. I prayed as though they were my best friend. I prayed as if they were right there in the room with me. I prayed like I loved them.
And this prayer of love for them, this was my sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
- Romans 12:9
Nearly a month ago I found myself tripping over this verse. I wanted to skip over the first half and just focus in on the second part - abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. I could do that. I could abhor evil. I could cling to good.
But as much as I tried to push the first half of the verse from my thoughts, it suddenly became a game of "if you think of the game you lose the game". The harder I tried to forget the first half and just move on in my reading, the more that it invaded my thoughts. Needless to say, I was losing "the game".
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Reading those words were uncomfortable, annoying, frustrating actually. Because I knew that my love was not without hypocrisy.
For as much as I love people around me, in my heart I knew (even though I tried to pretend it wasn't so) that there were names, faces, real people whom I did not love.
Let love be without hypocrisy.
Sometimes I think I am doing so well at loving people. Then a name is said, or a picture posted, and like the change from summer to winter, my heart frosts over and I become cold.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? - John 4:20I knew what the implications of Romans 12:9 were - I was a hypocrite. I said I loved Jesus. I said I loved people. Yet there were those whom I did not love or even care to love.
And like the wrestling of toddlers over a prized toy, I wrestled with my own heart. Am I really a hypocrite? It just didn't seem possible. And could not loving even just one person be enough to make me a hypocrite?
I knew the answer was yes. But somehow not admitting it gave me a sense of stability. Perhaps if I ignored it long enough maybe it wouldn't be true.
See the reality of Romans 12:9 and John 4:20 is, if I don't love like Christ would love, if there is someone in my life where there is anger, malice, or hatred towards them, I am a walking hypocrite. I am someone who rations out my love to those I "deem worthy" and cast judgement on who and how I will love.
I cannot stand before the Lord today or on the day of judgement in confidence. I cannot raise my hands in worship. I cannot even pray with faith because I have failed the very thing Christ commanded me: to love my neighbor as myself.
But how do you love someone you don't want to love?
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. - Ephesians 5:1-2I have to remember that I am far, I mean far from perfect. I will probably never know the number of times friends and family have loved me when I was [am] quite unlovable. And then there is God. Not only does He constantly love me when I am unlovable, but He sent His son Jesus to die for me, even when I was His enemy. It didn't matter. God reconciled me to Him even when I wanted nothing to do with Him. (Romans 8:8-10)
So I did what I so very much did not want to do; I prayed blessings on those whom my heart did not love. Everything I could want prayed for myself, I prayed for them. I prayed as though they were my best friend. I prayed as if they were right there in the room with me. I prayed like I loved them.
And this prayer of love for them, this was my sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
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